Toxic People & Relationships

Read:  John 13:1-17

When you look for toxic people in the gospel, your eyes might land on Herod, Pilate, the religious leaders or Judas.  There is something horrifying about Judas – he is a disciple, Jesus chose him as one of the twelve, he is a friend, a companion over the three years of Jesus’ ministry.

Toxic people are inevitable. How do you deal with them? How did Jesus deal with Judas?

Jesus’ way of dealing with toxic people was to serve them, show them love, and welcome them in.  If we are to follow Jesus, this is how we should deal with toxic people!  Jesus says: “do this in remembrance of me” as He ate with a toxic person.

What is our purpose? Is it to change the toxic person or is it to be like Jesus?  No, It is not to change people – it is right after this that Jesus frees him to betray Him.  It is our goal to be like Jesus and let God change your Judas (toxic people.)

How do you identify or recognize  your Judas (Toxic People)?

  1. Toxic People – keep you guessing about which version of them you’re getting.
  2. Toxic People – manipulate.
  3. Toxic People – won’t own their feelings.
  4. Toxic People – make you prove yourself to them.
  5. Toxic People – never apologize.
  6. Toxic People – are there in a crisis but never ever share in your joy.
  7. Toxic People – leave a conversation unfinished – and then go offline and hide.
  8. Toxic People – use non-toxic words with a toxic tone.
  9. Toxic People – bring irrelevant detail into conversations.
  10. Toxic People – make it about the way you’re talking, rather than what you’re talking about.
  11. Toxic People – exaggerate.
  12. Toxic People – are judgmental.

It doesn’t have to be all these things…It could be just one.

What you should do?  How to I graud myself from Judas (Toxic People)?

  1. Squash Negative –Talk
  2. Set Limits (Especially with Complainers)
  3. Rise Above
  4. Stay Aware of those Emotions
  5. Establish Boundaries and STICK WITH THEM
  6. Don’t Let Anyone Limit You Joy
  7. Don’t Focus on them as a Problem—Focus on you as a Solution
  8. Use A Support System – Surround yourself with positive uplifting people who show you love and support.

Pray this prayer with me:

Father God, I blind my own role in any and all toxic relationships.  Help me see the truth about myself. Apply the healing power of Your Word to my heart and mind.  Deliver me from any stronghold that causes me to harm people with my words and actions.  Save me from self-destructive patterns.

I struggle in my relationship with ______. I need You to give me wisdom on how to love ____ well.  You are my shield and defender. Show me how, when and where to erect boundaries in our relationship.  I believe You are my healer and I trust You to guard my heart and mind.

I need Your specific directions on how to interact with ______.

I want to love _____ with a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (1 Timothy 1:5)

Help me to love ______ courageously.  Fill me with Your truth and compel me to fearlessly tell the truth with love. Let Your perfect love cast out all of my fears related to our relationship.

I forgive ______ for hurting me. I ask You to forgive me for _______ and _______. I acknowledge my emotions: _______, _________, and _______. And I invite You to steady my heart so my emotions do not rule my decisions.  I surrender what I think our relationship should be. Please transform it so that it honors You.

In Jesus matchless name, I pray. Amen!!

Written by: The “Butterfly”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good…OnPurpose!

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