Relationships can make life wonderful and some can bring you down. We already talked about choosing wisely those that help you progress and grow versus those that can make you spiral. Proverbs 12:26. Today Pastor talked about restoring relationships and one particular point was directly aligned with my Grace Devotional reading. If you are a believer you know that when God speaks about the same topic from different sources you better search your heart, listen and apply. I can’t reiterate the whole message but the one nugget that was a repeat was the revenge factor in the struggle to forgive.
When you tie your happiness into the offenders unhappiness you give someone the power to control your peace of mind and happiness. Think about how you hope something doesn’t work out or that they are miserable. You wait for it, wait for it and the blow doesn’t come. What can happen? Your bitterness grows and sometimes we want to help push their unhappiness. How… we defame their character, share the offense, embellish it, slander them, anything to diminish them and make yourself the superior person. Proving your superiority you become all the things you are blaming them of being. You are investing so much energy on making sure you orchestrate their unhappiness. Of course all the time pretending like we don’t have ill will. Someone has to pay right? You need to fuel that superiority by staying angry at the offender. What can help, because really it’s not healthy and certainly isn’t how God intends for us to live.
1. Deal with your issue of superiority. Look inside for your insecurity, why are you self justifying your actions to harm, is your view of self distorted? What is lacking in you that you feel the only solution is for you to show them, teach them a lesson?
2. Deal with the issue of liability. Why do you want to make sure the other person pays? Are you harsh, withdrawn entirely, ignoring them? If you are dealing with a person who is broken believe that they are hitting bumps and getting bruises daily in life as a result of their actions. Can you be the person that graces them with the forgiveness you have been granted over and over? To forgive we need to move in the act before our hearts fully forgives. If we are waiting for the feeling and not acting we will be waiting forever.
3. Overcome evil with good.. Love your enemies Proverbs 25:21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
Once you deal with these things you can approach and discuss the offense in wisdom and love.
I know I know. So hard right? Aren’t the most fulfilling things those that we have put forth the greatest effort. Working on forgiveness and I am thankful that God is working and showing me how to be better.
XOXO ~ Cybill